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Joke of the Day

"Tonight's going to be a good night if I can get that stupid song out of my head. Otherwise, no."

"My dad told me I was no son of his. Then my mom said ""Dammit how did he know?"""

"Did you hear about the courier who became a successful comedian? The jokes were nothing special, but his delivery was impeccable."

"A boy and a gorilla walk into a bar... The boy says ""first shot's on me"" The gorilla replies ""nah, I got this"""

"Two pretzels are walking down the street. One was assaulted."

"I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider."

"What language do eagles program in? [C#](https://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3tp03o/in_canada_we_have_some_nice_falcons/cx8608n)"

"I can't believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment"

"Your mom reminds of bricks She's constantly getting laid by Mexicans."

"""The Bible"" running on the History Channel is like ""Dragons"" running on Animal Planet."