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Joke of the Day

"I'm ""don't flash your headlights at someone who doesn't have theirs on bc they will come and kill you"" years old."

"What's the Difference Between An Onion and a Baby I cry when I cut onions."

"Did you hear about the man who faked leprosy to get charity handouts? It was a leper con."

"I like cheese more than I like most people."

"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""

"What did the woman say to her husband who constantly turns the heater up way too high? ""This is why we can't have ice things!"""

"A Rich man sent a medicine shipment to Somalia Once it reached the Airport inspection, Customs rejected it and sent it back; the instructions on the medicines said : after meal"

"What do you call a sheep giving birth in a bedroom? Bedlam"

"When I was young, I slipped on some spilled beans and broke my spine, paralysing myself... Oh what I'd have done with Heinzsight."

"I am fairly certain that ""YOLO"" is ""Carpe Diem"" for stupid people."