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Joke of the Day

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin, you've already told her twice!"

"How school works: In class: 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: John had 4 apples.He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun's mass."

"In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn't matter how many of them come, they can't change a thing."

"We have a saying in Germany. It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter."

"I am running out of people I actually like."

"The neighbors are still looking for their dog. That shit was good"

"If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you."

"A frog literally just intentionally threw himself under my lawn mower I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide. I hate myself. I'm sorry."

"I invented a new joke today! Plagiarism!"