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Joke of the Day

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy... it feels good until you look down and realize you're gay."

"How did the blonde chip her teeth? using a vibrator"

"I've got my girlfriend working on her gag reflex... ...I haven't got a big dick or anything, she just throws up when she sees me naked"

"""I'm so sorry"" and ""my bad"" can be used interchangeably Except at funerals."

"I'm building an exercise machine for Ray and Dave Davies. I'm still working out the kinks."

"If someone says ""With all due respect,"" what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you."

"ME: I'm worthless. DAD: Remember, son: you owe eighty thousand dollars in student loans. You're less than worthless."

"So I tried to enter ""penis"" as my new e-mail password... But my computer said it was too short."

"Why is Obama pro gay marriage? Because he is a cock sucker"

"I gonna rank you so low you gonna hafta take a rocketship to hell they gonna hafta build a fence around you, keep the ants from pissin on you you gonna hafta look up to look down"