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Joke of the Day

"Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? Because she moans with the other."

"Autocorrect is like the kid in class who got ONE right and now he won't stop raising his hand."

"I tried writing with a broken pencil... until I realized there was no point."

"My friend told me I don't know the meaning of irony Which was really ironic because we were at a bus station."

"Did you hear the story about the man with five penises? His pants fit like a glove."

"If I have 5 apples and I give you 2 of them, just take the other 3 cause I'm going out for tacos"

"Why does my computer keep saying hello? It's a Dell."

"Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture."

"What did one boob say to the other? You're my breast friend! Badum-Tits!"

"I apologize and Im sorry mean the same thing... Except when you're at a funeral."