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Joke of the Day

"Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop."

"They are making gluten free communion wafers now. I guess you eat them because they represent the beach-body of Christ."

"Good one computer geniuses, you made everything ""user friendly"" and ""intuitive"" and now idiots are on the internet commenting on everything."

"Rob thank god you picked up! Hey remember when you said if I needed a place to crash I cou- hold on *to copilot* STOP CRYING, ROB WILL HELP"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl peeing? Because P is silent."

"I used to be addicted to soap But im clean now"

"What did Watson tell his friend when he was constipated? No shit Sherlock..."

"Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own."

"DATE TIP: Hold doors. Pull the chair out for your date. Burp your date. Change your date oh god you are on a date with a baby ok stay cool"

"Yes I have exams. No, I'm not easily distracted. Yes, my shadow is interesting."