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Joke of the Day

"Q:where do you see yourself in 5 years? A:I don't know i dont have 2020 vision All credit goes to /u/RegretDesi"

"*saves dandruff for 7 years to throw as confetti at friends wedding that i never really liked*"

"What do you call an exceptionally intelligent gay man? Homogeneous"

"Why does a montonegran man keep a chair next to his bed? So he can have a rest after he gets tired from waking up."

"I ordered at a Reddit Deli I messed up and ordered the wrong sub."

"Today is Short Girl Appreciation Day... (NSFW) and I don't get it. I appreciate short girls every day; sometimes twice!"

"Why were the pirates on the ship fighting? They needed better anchor management."

"The *REAL* Way to Avoid Clickbait Seriously guys, this is Reddit. What were you expecting?"

"Being sick sucks. I've laid in bed for days, ate nothing, lost 4 pounds, didn't go to work and slept nonstop. Wait. Being sick is AWESOME!"

"I wear glasses because I like to dramatically remove them to display anger. It was awkward doing that with contact lenses."