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Joke of the Day

"I swallowed my NyQuil with a 5 Hour energy and a latte and now my pet unicorn Steve and I are off to bake cheesecakes."

"(NSFW) What did the haddock get covered in at the fish orgy? SALMONal fluid"

"What happened to the cow who jumped over the barb wire fence? Udder destruction"

"What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac? Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog."

"What is the same about Subway and Jarred They both put 30 year old meat between 12 year old buns"

"Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2!"

"What's the difference between a kid and a cat? Who has the diploma when you get rid of them."

"It's okay Pluto I am not a planet either."

"I called the rape support hotline last night. Apparently it is only for victims."

"Harry: Want to see a magic trick? Voldemort: Let's see what you got Potter. Harry: Got your nose! Voldemort: You know I hate that game."