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Joke of the Day

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... huh, well would you look at that. It was a tie"

"Reasons Pluto is so cold: 3) It's far from the sun 2) Its atmosphere is too thin to trap heat. 1) It found out we said it's not a planet."

"I swear I heard my dentist whisper ""yolo"" as he reached for a chisel..."

"What Do You Call Bob The Builder When He Retires? Bob."

"What do a communist and communism itself have in common? Neither one works."

"On your MARK, get wet, RUFFALO."

"10 bucks says when Dora grows up, she's gonna be a drug mule."

"Parents, you can help end childhood obesity by teaching your kids how to smoke cigarettes."

"Commercial for Twitter dot com: *man yells nonsense out his window* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way?"

"What do you call the sweat between two rednecks making love? Relative humidity."