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Joke of the Day
"How do you catch a wild bra? Set a booby trap."
Next Joke
"Last week I had to fire my lawn maintenance workers. They just weren't cutting it."
"Let's claim some underground tunnels and start a new society where staring at our phones isn't considered rude and eye contact is weird."
"What happened when fire and the wheel were invented? People got lit and turnt."
"""Follow me!"" Me: Don't tell me what to do, ERIC!!! (Me at an exercise class)"
"Sadly, at 8:11 PM Mark Jones was mispronounced dead. [at hospital] Doctor: I'm afraid this man has deed. Am I saying that right? He's deed."
"How do you know a soprano is at the door? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in."
"[BDSM] The other day I came home and found a man tied up on my bed that didn't look like my boyfriend. Whoops, wrong sub."
"What do all men at single's bars have in common? They're married."
"What kind of bug can survive all winter? A bahumbug!"