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Joke of the Day

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar.. It was tense."

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"What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster? Messie Thank you and goodnight."
"Why was the bald king so sad? Because he had no heir."
"What kind of bird is the best pornstar? A swallow."
"What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied? Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!"
"Why did the photographer get arrested? He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents."
"What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals? The Dark Knightrogen"
"I used to drink beer in my underwear but now I use a glass."
"""Dumb as a bag of hammers"" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once."
"astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours so they decided to call it a day"