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Joke of the Day

"Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race? Because they're not garbage collectors."

"Today, I've been cleaning. And by cleaning I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze."

"The office supplier gave us some cheap toilet paper and now we've got a real mess on our hands."

"he doesnt always use the internet, but when he does, he shares recipes & inspiratiomal quotes. he is..the most pinteresting man in the world"

"If you Happy and you know it thank your ex!"

"What do you call someone who thinks Vikings are the best? a Norsissist."

"Voyager 1 left the solar system 1 year ago and still gets a better signal than an iPhone in my apartment."

"She wanted a puppy. But I didn't want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy."

"Why did 10 die? Because it was in the middle of 9 11"

"Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly - autocorrect"