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Joke of the Day

"A terrorist invites his socially awkward friend to a party ""C'mon,"" he said, ""It'll be a blast."""

"Why are crabs always so tired? It's because they only sleep in snatches."

"There may be plenty of fish in the sea... but most of them these days are catfish."

"Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA."

"Why is Superman's costume so tight? Because it only comes in size 'S'"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One looks up at the other and says ""does this taste funny to you?"""

"I've got this great joke where I kidnap people's sticker families and leave little post-it ransom notes. Adorable or horrifying? You decide"

"[DATE] ME: I'm a literature buff HER: who do you read? ME: read? *cut to me bench pressing like 70 copies of The Great Gatsby*"

"If you ever see me with one of those stick figure family bumper stickers it means I'm dead and someone is wearing my skin"

"How did Hitler check the price of his clothes? He looked at the Reichstag."