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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair (credit to my physics teacher's wife)"

"So I caught up with my mexican friend ..He told me that his wife give birth to their first son, just the other day. I said ""Jesus really?!"" He replied with ""Nah, his name's Jose."""

"What do you call playing chess against yourself? Chessturbation."

"Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot."

"Your momma so dumb she drove around looking for the App Store"

"Wife: Have you seen my razor? Me: [with only one eyebrow] I have not"

"An innovative new alternative to ironing your clothes Look shitty"

"""i like the little round slices of shitty hard bread in chex mix. that's actually my favorite part"" -a monster"

"If I were a manager at Stabucks I would be like, ""You showed up latte for work today!"" then when the laughing stops, ""but no, you're fired."""

"What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed? ""I think we're in sink."""