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Joke of the Day

"It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs."

"How bout I hold a toaster over you while you're in the tub, and you tweet something that doesn't make me drop it."

"A girl just broke up with her friend The guy deserved it. He loved her more than anything, but still he treated her really badly. He really was a dick' to her. (addicted to her)"

"What's the hardest part about roller blading? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"Shakespeare could see the future. He knew people would listen to only two types of music. Doobie or not Doobie."

"So, two neutrinos walk through a bar..."

"Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman? He never delivered."

"A man enters a store and says: ""15 litres of wine please."" ""Did you bring a container for this?"" ""You're speaking to it."""

"While it's true that gay marriage doesn't nullify straight marriage, if Beyonce was born on your birthday it's not your birthday anymore."

"""YOU'RE FAT."" - my belt"