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Joke of the Day

"Only 2 phrases can change a woman's mood: ""I Love You"" and ""50% Off""."

"What do you call 100 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel!"

"Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL."

"Notice: Due to overwhelming political pressure, Cracker Barrel will now be known as Caucasian Barrel."

"*rolls grocery cart into open house* Ooh what a lovely lamp! *puts it in cart* An iPad! *crosses iPad off shopping list* *puts it in cart*"

"Broken puppets for sale... No strings attached."

"What type of vegetable is only kinda awesome? A radish"

"Don't think we didn't notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it."

"When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell."

"I just called up the phone company and put em on hold. Every 5min I come on an tell them how important their business is to me. Please hold."