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Joke of the Day
"Two drums and a cymbal jump off a cliff... Ba dum tss."
Next Joke
"I thought this waitress was in love with me but then right in front of my eyes she started to bring other people food."
"Apparently just because I have the ""mind of a child"" I'm not allowed to sit on a Santa's lap. Also it's ""illegal"" to carry a brain around."
"If your partner is overweight, get them to walk 3 miles in the morning and 3 miles in the evening. After 2 weeks the fat fucker will be 84 miles away"
"They tried to combine a networked hard drive with a device that brewed drinks... It was NAS-tea"
"Just checked into hotel in Miami. They have a separate pool for redheaded people. I thought we were past this."
"Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate? Because he had a reptile dysfunction."
"What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back."
"This vodka tastes strange, kinda like I'm not going to work tomorrow."
"My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it."