3602

Joke of the Day

"Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey? The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece."

"Q: When is a school paper not a school paper? A: When it's turned into the teacher."

"I'm never buying a Labrador... Havent you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

"What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing you just run away!"

"[throws wine bottle into vineyard] ""Go, be with your family."""

"If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with two people is called a twosome... then I know why people call you handsome."

"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys. I thought she was kidding... ...and then I saw her face."

"What do you call 4 lepers in a hot tub? soup"

"A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states."

"Never let them see how much they hurt you. Or the gun. Definitely don't let them see the gun."