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Joke of the Day

"A Jew with an erection walks face first into a wall... He breaks his nose."

"What's a theif's favorite dance move? Poppin' locks"

"*A conversation between two Wannabe Terrorists * T1: Oi mate, check out this bomb. I got it for a very cheap price!! T2: It's a fake man. T1: Fake? C4 yourself man. *explosion*"

"I've been up for 20 hours. There's no way I could perform surgery right now. Mainly, because I have no medical training."

"Too Soon? I heard the Black Friday deals were amazing."

"I'll never be the girl who walks in the room and commands everyone's attenHEY! Can you at least finish reading this tweet?!"

"Professor, please tell us about discrete physical values in quantum mechanics. Sure, one moment."

"Do you know what the Titanic and I have in common? Your mom hasn't gone down on either of us."

"When people show me pictures of their kids, I show them pictures of my exes If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine."

"What do you get if you walk under a cow? A pat on the head."