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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick!"

"Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder."

"Whats the last thing that went through Sally's mind after jumping from a skyscraper? Her ankles."

"Skinny friend: Bananas are super high in sugar. Why would you eat them if you want to lose weight? Me: Good point. *Grabs Kit Kat"

"What do you call a chinese food truck? A Wok in the Park"

"Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Boris Johnson walk into a room...Oh God. This isn't even a joke anymore. Help"

"what's wrong son? that kid said he's cooler than me what? impossible. what kid? *in my head im like don't be the kid with pegs on his bike*"

"Wait in a dressing room until an employee comes to ask if they can help. Answer yes, pause, then say, ""But I need to be able to trust you"""

"Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER HER HAIR SMELLS NICE? A: WHAT IF THE MAN IS A DWARF?"

"I like my women like I like my onion rings. Battered."