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Joke of the Day

"I've always had a soft spot in my heart for female T-Rex because the tampon insertion must've been really difficult."

"How do you get everyone in a chemistry department to kill themselves? Get them to unionize"

"Why did the Green Giant get a new lid? Because he always spills the beans."

"I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public."

"It's like grandma always said... In a car with a sunroof, you have more room for your legs"

"What's black and white and red all over? Police brutality."

"The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow."

"Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The Common Cold? Because he is a bad influenza"

"What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden? Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'"

"Me: kids, your mother & I are in a gang now. There's room for 2 more members Son: but there's 3 of us Me [petting both our dogs]: 3 what?"