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Joke of the Day

"If you're wearing Superman undies, but she's a Batman kinda girl, you might as well put your clothes back on."

"Me: Dad, am I adopted? Dad: Shit, like I'd have picked you?"

"Sex is like CPR. Two inches at 100 beats per minute."

"Its important to have a good vocabulary... If only I had known the difference between the words antidote and anecdote, one of my good friends would still be living."

"When is a bread not kneaded? When it's unnecessary"

"Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave."

"Why are there no casinos in China? Because the Chinese don't like Tibet..."

"Masturbation in the Mafia is called 'Offing Jack.'"

"Why do midgets laugh when they run through grass? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"How many particles are there in a vaccum? It doesn't matter."