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Joke of the Day

"What did the Orphan get for Christmas? Lonely."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? HEY FUCK YOU."

"What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky? A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous."

"How do you steal something from a crazy person? You straight jack it."

"With soaring gas prices and my abnormally sized feet, I am thinking that I will be Yabba-dabba-dooing it to work this week!"

"Switzerland is a pretty sweet country... and their flag's a big plus."

"You are riding a horse. There is a giraffe beside you and a lion chasing you. What do you do? You get your drunk ass off the carousel. Edit: *off Thanks captain."

"I just learned you need five sheep to make a sweater. I didn't know they knew how to knit."

"Fucking in lifts is wrong on so many levels"

"7 million people watched the ""Game of Thrones"" season finale. Seven million people. That's one viewer for each ""Game of Thrones"" character."