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Joke of the Day

"I received their wedding invitation on Facebook, so I sent them a gift from Farmville....figured it was appropriate."

"When I found out my toaster wasn't water proof... I WAS SHOCKED!"

"Donalds trumps presidential campaign"

"I hate what toys do to girls' body images. Real girls don't have smaller girls inside of them with smaller girls inside of them..."

"Why did the Jews wander in the wilderness for 40 years? Someone dropped a penny."

"My wife said she wanted a divorce for Christmas. I told her I did not want to spend that much."

"This morning I made the strongest coffee ever. It's so black a cop kicked in my door and shot it."

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with soccer So I said ""On loan or permanent transfer?"""

"Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet? Because he can't bring himself to click the ""submit"" button."

"What's the difference between Tuna, a Piano, and a bottle of Glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!"