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Joke of the Day

"If a tree falls down in the woods and nobody is around to hear it... Then hipsters would buy the soundtrack."

Next Joke
 
"Why did the old lady stand in front of three rows of traffic? Cause she was a cunt. (Courtesy of my little brother.)"
"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND EEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
"I just read a list of ""100 Things To Do Before You Die"". I was pretty surprised that ""yell for help"" wasn't one of them."
"What do you call a dachshund with no hind legs and balls of steel? Sparky."
"How does Kris Kringle clean his hands? Santatizer"
"Fun fact: The average fight between men lasts 30 seconds. The average fight between women lasts 30 years."
"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but I have no clue how they got in there."
"What do you call an Irish Jew? A leprechaun!"
"How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I am not sure, I haven't seen them try and I can't do it either."