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Joke of the Day

"Only the immature will laugh A sausage and an egg are frying in a pan. ""It's a bit too hot in here for me, mate."" The sausage says to the egg. The egg screams, ""Ahh! A talking sausage!"""

"So a waste depository is where you put the waste you never want to see again... And /r/funny is reddits largest humour depository."

"ME: [bumps man] MAN: [spills coffee] Say sorry ME: No MAN: Then I'll see you in court ME: [remembers I own a camouflage suit] You won't"

"If a puppy stabbed me in the face and stole my car, I'd still be like, ""aww."""

"I went to the zoo . . . I went to the zoo, and in the entire place, they only had one dog. It was a shih tzu."

"The electoral college needs to go away. The tuition rates are out of control."

"Today is David Finchers birthday... WHATS IN THE BOX!?????"

"I quit my job as an accountant It was just too taxing"

"A three legged dog Walks into a bar, sits down and says im looking for the man that shot my paw."

"Ed Hardy makes a wine. Just tasted some. With full-bodied undertones of asshat, its repugnant mouthfeel would pair well with a cheeseball."