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Joke of the Day
"Why is Santa Clause always so Jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."
Next Joke
"You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!"
"What kind of meat do priests eat? Nun."
"Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad? ...because William Shatner"
"""I need some space."" - astronaut breaking up with his girlfriend"
"When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I've been told. Twice now."
"If there's two things I've learned in life It's that I'm awful at counting."
"Me: Off to adult school recess! Boss: it's called lunch.. Me: *runs by dribbling basketball with two hands"
"""Hi I can't remember the name of this actress.You know her, she's in that movie you saw. She's got that hair."" -actual message from my mom"
"What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 watt"