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Joke of the Day

"Why is Santa Clause always so Jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."

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"You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!"
"What kind of meat do priests eat? Nun."
"Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad? ...because William Shatner"
"""I need some space."" - astronaut breaking up with his girlfriend"
"When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I've been told. Twice now."
"If there's two things I've learned in life It's that I'm awful at counting."
"Me: Off to adult school recess! Boss: it's called lunch.. Me: *runs by dribbling basketball with two hands"
"""Hi I can't remember the name of this actress.You know her, she's in that movie you saw. She's got that hair."" -actual message from my mom"
"What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 watt"