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Joke of the Day

"My wife didn't post an essay thanking our kids for making her a mom on Facebook and now child services is on the way."

"What do you call a fat guy, from New Orleans, that never tells the truth? A jambo-laya. Thanks for coming out, I'll be here till Thursday."

"I blow-dried my hair, now it looks like the mane of a majestic lion who is really good at video games"

"I like to stand near people on gluten-free diets and eat as much gluten as I can and say things like ""Mmmm, sweet gluten."""

"how do you get pikachu onto a bus You Pokemon"

"What's the difference between tired and exhausted? When you run in front of a car, you get tired When you run behind a car, you get exhausted."

"I play the triangle in a reggae band It's quite easy. I just stand at the back and ting."

"Did you hear about the guy who got fired from Crayola last week? He desecrated the holy crayon."

"Why do people love their smartphones so much? Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)"

"Just received an email listing 5 ways to prevent divorce. 'Don't get married' wasn't on there. Or 'murder.' Stupid list."