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Joke of the Day

"What does the electron say to the resistor? Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap"

"""Can I have a pound of onions please."" ""Sorry sir, it's kilos these days."" ""oh, ok, can I have a pound of kilos please."""

"I was asked to find the word ""Impost"" in the dictionary. it was next to impossible.."

"Why did the witch have to move out of her gingerbread house? The property taxes were gastronomical."

"The Bible is Christianity's Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app"

"Two old ladies are sitting on a prk bench when a streaker ran past. One had a stroke. The other couldn't reach."

"Stripper joke (NSFW?) A man walks into a strip club and immediately gets some action from a stripper. He walks out, satisfied, and says, ""Wow, what great cervix!"""

"""Careful, there's poop on the dance floor."" - how ballet was invented."

"Nothing says ""I m not interested"" quite as loudly as showing up for a date"

"maybe if we told raccoons that the black around their eyes meant they were superheroes instead of burglars theyd stop stealing our trash"