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Joke of the Day

"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on the windscreen. It said, ""Parking fine"", so that was nice."

"What do you call a fat relative around Halloween? A plump-kin"

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator."

"One Hundred Metres to the Bus Stop by Willy Makit illustrated by Betty Wont"

"Man: Your place or mine? Women: Both, you go to yours and I'll go to mine."

"If you don't pay your exorcist... You may get repossessed."

"Tasted the best Borscht ever! It'll be hard to beet."

"What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium."

"Your mum is soooo Dark that when she puts lipstick on she looks like... Knight Rider!"

"Whew. Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower."