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Joke of the Day

"I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes and try to pass them off as my own. I still do, but I used to too."

"What are three words you don't want to hear during sex? Honey, I'm home!"

"France is such a shitty country Even the nice parts are rundown"

"Don't spell part backwards It's a trap"

"I like my sex like I like my belts... If it's not tight enough, I'll move it to another hole ."

"A Spaniard, a Dutchman and an Englishman walk into a bar The Icelander couldn't make it because he's still at the Euros."

"I asked Roy Hodgson if he would consider 4-4-2 next week. He said, ""No, we'll probably go 7-4-7 it's wider and offers more leg room."""

"""I remember one time I brought my report card home and said 'Hey Dad, I got a B in Reading!"" He just said ""That's a D, you idiot."""

"Recently developed melanoma on my cheek, so I quickly went to the dermatologist. Turns out I just fell asleep on a chocolate chip."

"my gang colors are taupe and beige"