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Joke of the Day

"[Sees cute barista] I'll have a quickie. Barista: Sir, it's called an espresso."

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"Bet you can't guess my favorite hue Hue Jackman"
"Sharks would look awesome with mustaches, but evolution said no. Cause evolution is a dick."
"My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her !"
"Getting to know someone is a lot like making toast; don't do it in the bathtub."
"Her: My father is very upset that I'm your girlfriend. Me: Well, duh, I'm very upset that you're my girlfriend..."
"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb ? Apparently not four as my basement is still dark"
"My mother doesn't believe the dough will rise in the oven. She'll believe when she sees the proof."
"Three people I never mess with:n1- PMSing women.n2- Truck drivers.n3- PMSing truck drivers."
"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the Rhino. - *One of the many jokes I remember from Hot Shots.*"