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Joke of the Day

"Guy talking to a girl Guy: I have a joke about my penis. Ah... forget get, it's too long. Girl: I have a joke about my vagina. You won't get it."

"Girls call me ugly until they find out how much money I have Then they call me ugly and poor"

"How do you get everyone to click on your post? [NSFW] Put [NSFW] in the title."

"Why did Ahmed Mohamed put his clock in a pencil case? because pipe clock would have just been stupid."

"They say talk is cheap but my last phone call cost me $2.99 per minute, billed directly to my credit card."

"What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee"

"I became a vegetarian yesterday. I regret it already, I guess you can say it was a missed steak."

"Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding? Because it cantaloupe."

"I always have to throw out my animal crackers. They always have that label: ""Do not eat if seal is broken""."

"""What's your name?"" ""Colin Fucking Wilson."" ""Have you got Tourrettes?"" ""No, but the Vicar at my Christening did."""