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Joke of the Day

"When a big account that doesn't follow me stars me suddenly, I crouch down and stay still, hoping it will tiptoe up and eat from my hand."

"What do you call it when you give chairs to the poor? A Chair-ity!"

"Why do they call wood carving ""whittling""? Because you start with a bigger piece of wood, and you make it whittler."

"I just shot my first turkey today! I don't think they are going to let me back into that store again."

"When googling Gary Oldman I highly suggest not forgetting the ""R"""

"How do you know a cat is ready to leave? He makes a fe-line for the door."

"Lightning never strikes twice in one place. Chuck Norris wont let it."

"I could die But I'm afraid of the reapercussions"

"What do you call a naked old man crawling out of a coal mine? 50 shades of grey's anatomy"

"Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store."