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Joke of the Day

"There was a Spanish magician who said he could disappear. He said he would disappear on the count of 3. He said ""Unos... Dos..."" **POOF** And then he disappeared without a tres."

"Have you heard about Henry the brown-nosed reindeer? He's just as fast as Rudolf, he just can't stop as quick"

"*daughter grabs 50 shades of grey* NO! *smacks it out of her hand* ""I want to color!"" ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK ""But daddy-"" DON'T CALL ME THAT"

"Successful Lawyers! Good lawyers know the laws and smart lawyers know the judges"

"[First date] Me: So, I've been married for 12 years - Him: You're married?? Me: Is that a problem?"

"What do a 9 volt battery and a woman's asshole have in common? You know you don't want to, but eventually you are going to lick them both"

"People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society."

"What is purple and commutes? An Abelian grape!"

"2 old nearly deaf guys sitting on a park bench say to one another Boy, sure is windy out. No its not. It's thursday. Yeah me too. Lets go get a beer."

"Why are Jews so good in school? They were taught how to concentrate well."