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Joke of the Day

"A man ran into a hospital and yelled, ""I have only 59 seconds to live.""The receptionist said, ""Just a minute, please."""

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"The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was making religion cool."
"I love when people misuse the word ""literally"". It literally makes me fart rainbows."
"How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had? He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi..."
"What repulsive awful thing can be found in a black persons clothes? The black person."
"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"
"What is a Freudian slip? It's when you say one thing but fuck your mother"
"A bottle of Rum goes up to a bottle of Vodka... ...and says, ""I'm stronger than you!"" Bottle of Vodka rolls up his sleeves and says ""Proof it"""
"How do people usually feel after touching an electric fence? Shocked."
"My calculator sucks It always gives me the wrong answer"
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