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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a fox into a whale? Marry her."

"Did you hear what happened in the Multi-Language Translation Race? Nobody made it to the Finnish Line."

"""do you know why i pulled you ov.. are you.. pinocchio?"" yea, so what ""is that a hooker?"" uh.. nope, no *his nose hits the fuckin moon*"

"They tried to make me go to rehab... They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said... 'I don't have insurance'. And that was the end of that."

"Boy in the hospital, dying of cancer and grandma misplaces her glasses at the store and buys the first card she finds ""Get Good Soon"" [8]"

"Taming Wild Cats by Claude Face"

"""You think only God can judge you?"" *Judge Judy spins around in chair to face you* ""Well THINK AGAIN!"" *bangs gavel so hard it breaks*"

"I did a theatrical performance about puns.. Really it was just a play on words."

"I'm bringing sexy back. Apparently there was a misunderstanding and I never should have been allowed to purchase it in the first place."

"A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party... He was in the Menorah Tee."