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Joke of the Day

"A man got arrested for assaulting someone with a defibrillator. The victim said that he was gonna press charges."

"Eating chocolate pudding from a diaper is a good way to get a whole row to yourself at the cinema."

"If your religion is worth killing for, start with yourself."

"A man asks a genie for a dick so long it touches the ground... So the genie pulls out a sword and cuts both the man's legs clean off."

"Who wrote ""The Tiger's Revenge""? Claude Balls"

"Recent evidence indicates that Earth is indeed bi-polar, as we've always suspected."

"Why do all dads have huge dicks? Because the kids have tiny hands."

"I wasn't upset about that black cat crossing my path but mouthing ""you're fucked"" as he passed was just rude."

"If I was a Quidditch player I'd be the Seeker, because I'm really, really good at doing basically nothing until the very end of something."

"You can tell the gender of an Ant by putting it in water If it sinks: Girl Ant If it floats: Boy ant"