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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a spitter and a swallower? 10 lbs of pressure on the back of the head."

"What did one atom say to the other? ""I lost an electron..."" The other atom asks ""Are you sure?"" First atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""

"Can I ask you a quick question? What is the quickest way to the front page?"

"Two guys are busted stealing a calender The both got 6 months"

"Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus."

"My wife believes in compromise If we agree on something we do it my way, and if we disagree we do it her way."

"What do you call an unemployed classical musician? Baroque"

"They say there's no such thing as a free lunch, but I'm at Applebee's & have a dead mouse in my pocket that says otherwise."

"Has anyone seen the trailer for the latest Tom Cruise movie? He can't go to the bathroom at all. It's called Mission Impissable."

"He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Does Santa work for the NSA?"