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Joke of the Day

"Another previously unknown dinosaur was the Thesaurus who used flowery language to confuse and disorient predators while he made his escape"

"A wife in big doses is poison, in small doses medicine."

"A husband and wife are getting married.... Minister: And now your wedding vows Groom: A E I O U Bride: Omg do u ever take anything seriously? Groom: sometimes....why?"

"""The most comfortable place to put your elbows at dinner is on the table, so I'm gonna go ahead and make that bad manners."" -Some asshole"

"This guy asked me to convert today... And I said, no, I'm happy with my current non-prophet organization"

"I give frequent lectures about informative and interesting topics underwater. For academic porpoises."

"Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me."

"Which country has the cheapest prostitutes? Vietnam. Because over there you need 20840 dongs to make a dollar."

"What idiot called it Canada and not the US of Eh?"

"What do you call a midget with an axe? A battle dwarf"