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Joke of the Day

"I'm a magician of sorts. I steal candy bars using sleight of hand. You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve."

"what does an italian eat when he's mad at his boss ? kielbasa (said with an italian accent)"

"They told me it was love at first sight during their divorce proceedings. - Reasons why I drink"

"My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books but he's only got his shelf to blame."

"Honey Nut Cheerios I've said it before I'll say it again If Honey Nut Cheerios wanted more Jewish customers, they should change the Nut to Milk and call them Canaanios."

"If I was a Doctor, my prescription pad would just read: ""Smoke 2 joints, eat ALL the chicken"""

"A friend of mine just retired from the Department of Statistics, he has truly taken leave of his census."

"As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens."

"Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans? Because it was soda pressing."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"