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Joke of the Day

"What did the police do to the sweater? They pulled it over."

"Life is short. Beat it up and steal its lunch money."

"Apparently I took my elderly neighbor's offer to ""come inside"" a bit too far. Anyway, totally in jail."

"I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help I asked him, ""Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"" He said, ""Monumental!"" I replied, ""No, I'm not."""

"What do you call an Irish lesbian? Gaelic"

"Why is it called PMS'ing? Mad cow disease was already taken."

"Five days of the week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park! "

"A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. ""Hey kid,"" he shouted. ""Why don't you go outside and play?"""

"On this day in 1947 Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier, whereas Obama did nothing for America in ALL of 1947."

"My dad's not an alcoholic... ...He just collects empty bottles, sounds so much better, doesn't it? ~ Stewart Francis"