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Joke of the Day

"Thought of this while making breakfast. What did the microbiologist bring to the art fair? A cup of yogurt."

"What do you call a Chinese man allergic to dogs? Starving."

"What happens when a guy with no legs dies? He punches the bucket"

"Whats black and white and red all over? A [removed]paper"

"The 2016 US Presidential Election That's it. That's the entire fucking joke. Edit: Woke up to hundreds of messages and FP status. Damn. Thanks, folks! And thanks for the gold!"

"Are you having trouble finding your kids' name's on bottles of Coca Cola? Then I bet you wish you'd given them proper names instead of thinking you were clever by calling them Lake and Destiny."

"Why have the French had so many civil wars so they can win one now and again"

"Just saw a bag of McDonalds in the street. Unsure how this will affect brand. Could be good (free advertising) or bad (no one was eating it)"

"My gf said all I do is sit on the couch in my underwear all day but that's bullshit, I've never been able to fit my underwear onto my couch."

"What do they use to heal cuts in the Matrix Neo Sporin"