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Joke of the Day
"Some Days you're the dog and some days the hydrant."
Next Joke
"So a man walks through airport security... Man: Knock knock. AS: Who's there? Man: Alla. AS: Alla who? Man: Alla who akbar."
"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They've already screwed everything"
"If you are what you eat I'm a small family of ladybugs :)"
"What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane? If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor"
"Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia? It's Mike's Thai Son."
"I got a new job! I got a great new job working for The Mint. I'm gonna make so much money! Also steal a bunch."
"""why do women always take sooo long to put their makeup on?"" because makeup is war paint for Being In Public, clearly"
"What happens if you play a country song backward? You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up."
"There's this one girl student in my class that always dresses slutty and shows of her curves... ...and that's not even the best part about home-schooling"