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Joke of the Day

"Cheating is one of the worst things a person can do. But that is not the worst part. The worst part is that I just found out all my current partners are doing it!"

"Forgot I started my stopwatch. It's now been 139:27.05 since I wondered how long it takes me to run five miles."

"Attention fat vegans: Explain."

"I almost hit a deer tonight. But then he took back what he said about my mom and we hugged it out. Back to having zero haters, feels good."

"Don't let anyone's hate, negativity, ignorance or drama stop you from being the asshole you strive to be."

"well, 75% of you passed math and will not have to come to summer school [from the back] ""what about the other 65% of us?"""

"What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't? A bellybutton!"

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ..because it was dead"

"who is a skeletons favorite music artist? BONE JOVI!!!!!!!"

"Nothing beats a beautiful girl with a great singing voice! Except Chris Brown"