11632

Joke of the Day

"My ring tone is a woman faintly screaming Help me, Superman. Help me!' and then I run away, unexplained."

"I told a joke in lit class and got crickets So my teacher was telling us about a class she took. ""I took a really epic class on Falkner."" and I responded ""not as epic as a class I took on Homer."""

"Archaeologists digging in Egypt discovered a Mummy covered in Chocolate and Nuts Experts believe it to be a Pharaoh Roche"

"What did the prostitute say to the leper? Thanks for the tip."

"To limit my smoking... I only smoke on days that start with 'T'... like Tuesday, Thursday, today, and tomorrow."

"What did the O say to the Q? Dude, your dick's hanging out."

"My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job"

"What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse? The hell out of there."

"How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"Dear Egyptians, please chill the fuck out while we consult our groundhog for advice."