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Joke of the Day

"What type of weed do lizards smoke? Mariguana."

"When I pay for my groceries and the cashier hands me the receipt I like to smile and say ""this will all be poop soon""."

"My car lease is up and I have to return it back to the dealer today, so I'm practicing jumping out of a moving car."

"I don't get why some girls don't make airplane noises before putting their tampons in"

"I yelled ""shotgun"", long before anyone else, but I still got to sit in the backseat. I hate cops."

"If you cut your goat in half you'll have two goats, that's just simple math."

"A tornado is about 5 minutes away and our satellite is out. I hope our house lands somewhere where the cable works!"

"So I ordered the Best of Pitbull CD off Amazon. All I got was a blank CD."

"What do you call a white man who never lose in the boxing ring? The referee"

"Why are gas giants always so happy? Because they're all jovial."