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Joke of the Day

"My 5th grader is one eye roll away from being listed on eBay this morning."

"Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home."

"Vince Vaughn supports the right to carry guns in public. So if you ever wander into 1 of his movies, you can just shoot yourself."

"I just opened an express clothing alteration business. It's called Tailor Swift."

"LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight. When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun"

"What do you call an Italian guy with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"What do we want? BIGGER PLACARDS! When do we want them? NO"

"There's a new band called ""1023Mb"" They don't have any gigs yet."

"In the house of mathematics, where are the tautologies found? They're kept in the Axiom Attic."

"I haven't seen a Brazilian as bad as Fred since Stevie Wonder shaved his wife's pussy."