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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me to drink 8 bottles of water a day I have to buy a case of bud light every 3 days now"

"Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound? If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump?"

"OF COURSE IT'S A GENUINE BEETHOVEN! Look at those brush strokes, the stunning use of colour."

"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen"

"I was scraping a window at my Grandma's house.... I then thought up a joke for my mom to hear it was ""This window scraping stuff is a pane in the glass!"" She laughed :)"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!"

"How many bees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but how do they get in there?"

"curiousity killed the cat but it also got my penis stuck in the vacuum"

"She puts the hot in psychotic"

"The demolition workers performed at the workers event last night. Heard they brought down the house with their act."