108136

Joke of the Day

"Stalker? Me? Nooooo. But you should call your mom, she left you a message yesterday while you were sleeping. I muted it so you could rest"

"Due to flooding, my kid's school is closed. Pffft. In my day, we swam to school--uphill--both ways."

"I was gonna make a joke about Mohommad But you have to draw the line somewhere."

"I hate suicide bombers... ..... they should just kill themselves"

"Saw two construction workers laughing today... I know what they were really building, friendship"

"What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party? No one moved. They couldn't stir without her."

"Your LinkedIn says you have a job but your snapchat says otherwise."

"Why are male bathrooms on the left, and female bathrooms on the right? Because no matter what, women are always right, even when they're full of shit."

"Q: Why did the lady and her attorney seek a scarlet frock as part of a settlement? A: Because she wanted a red dress for her grievances."

"Who has a higher recycling rate than a recycling plant? r/Jokes"