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Joke of the Day

"Stalker? Me? Nooooo. But you should call your mom, she left you a message yesterday while you were sleeping. I muted it so you could rest"

"Dance like theres no tomorrow OH MY GOD THERES NO TOMORROW WHY ARE WE DANCING"

"I always make sure to buy high quality toilet paper... If you get the cheap stuff, you'll pay for it in the end."

"DATE: you smell so nice - what are you wearing? ME: Febreeze"

"Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common"

"Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there's a wormhole in my kitchen"

"Ever hear of that cat turned vegan because of its vegan owner? Probably not, she died."

"My friends say I have a gambling addiction... I bet I don't."

"Dogs do their social networking on Assbook, via the World Wide Whiff."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bjorn ! Bjorn who ? Bjorn with a silver spoon in his mouth !"